“Oh my .. I feel awful . I know its too late to change or regret. Its sort of depression, frustration……. Ahh…. I dont kno wat to call this feeling … I feel tensed .. As if , I have no future. I feel horrible .. I kno I shudnt b regretting . Cuz i caused it all… But i dont seem to kno a way to control myself”
This is the text that I received on Saturday, 26th May from my friend. I really don’t have any idea what people text when they get infected with that fear of failure. This message is the thing that actually made me think about it and write this post.
Life is hard, tough and unpredictable. Its so tough sometimes that you feel like there is no point in living. What else does words like ‘depression’, ‘frustration’, ‘tensed’, more than anything ‘I have no future’ point to?
Sometimes life is totally unfair. I know this because I have been to it, when my friend told me, “I am done, I can’t be friends with you anymore. The reason is still unknown, maybe a bit personal. I am not sure. It still aches somewhere deep inside.
But then there are things which keeps you going, things which make this planet worth living, things that motivates us out of the hardship of life. Yes you guessed it right, the things that you do with your friends n’ family and those feelings of love and care which is rooted deep inside our heart.
I know it sounds silly but you can’t figure it until you think about it. If you are reading this, whoever you are, all I want you to do is take the time back. Rewind every single second that you spent with your close friends or your family. A Small word, a small smile or even a look might have changed your life, one way or other.
Talking about me, my gang n’ our friendship.. we have done the most terrific, unbelievable stuff.There were times when we used to lock up our warden in the hostel so that we can party all night. Other times when we played poker all night and bought awkward marks in the exams next day. The most important thing is about fashion! Sharing dresses especially jeans was the most important of all.. Then that awesome moment a guy scarifies his love for his friend. And that time when one shows all those stuffs written in the answer sheet. The most heart touching moment is when another guy cry for you when they find you in a very difficult situation.
Those times when they tease you all night for what you have done in the campus or at the canteen. Then helping with the drawings or a helping hand in the laboratory, everything had same dimension when it came to friendship.And that stupid moment when you had to say ‘Told you!!’ to your friend. Then eating something from the store n falling sick, together! During some extreme cases helping your friend to reach his girlfriend in the girls hostel at night n’ trying hard not to get caught.Hacking into friends fb id to check what he is up to. And screwing a friends relationship? And if you feel like its the love of his life, setting it up again?
Calling up a friend n asking him ‘Dude, recharge my phone, will ya’?Checking out gals together n’ rating ’em. And there are times when you feel like you can write a book on ’em…. Lending money and not returning (sometimes even forgetting that it happened), Free lunch (every day!!)The most awesome of all, the feeling that you get when you fulfil one of their wishes. I once did it!! I bet you will be happy more than your friend.
Right now, when I write this at mid-night after reading my Autograph book (the book in which friends write about almost everything or anything just before going out of school or college), I can feel their love. The days we had wont come back, its just the memories that remain.
All I can do is look foreword.
Love you guys n’ gals… for what you really are !